Took Dave back to the Citadel last nite. He had a tough time, not so

much the school, but the old homesick feeling like you all have had. I wish

I would of recognized that at first. I knew he was not right this weekend,

too short a time to be at home and too much ground to cover. (All hind sight

for me to share with you now.) Mistakes I made were; wondering why, when he

came home on Saturday evening with Jonathan Ryzeck and David Sharp, just why

he did not stop by and give me the normal hug he always does and say thanks

for getting me. After all, Kath went down there on Friday, spent the nite,

only to get him out of there at 5:30 Saturday morning to bring him home.

After all, my Saturday was spent with Sam in Virginia at a wrestling meet,

after all my Sunday would be spent taking Dave back to school and then

driving back home, getting in late, and going back to work; Doesn’t he see

what we are doing for him and why can’t I just get a hug, instead of Hey

Pops and then he disappears up to his room to sleep in with John and Dave.

Why did I have to say on Sunday morning, “Well you can sleep in ,

but you know the right thing to do is go to church.” He did go (2 remick

cars in the parking lot, sorry Mitch). After church when his girl friend and

John were in his room watching another movie on Sunday afternoon and Dave

went downstairs to help mom pack his washed clothes , I went in and asked

them what is wrong with Dave. Annie and John said he just doesn’t seem

himself.

The ride to Charleston was enjoyable, everything from SouthLake and

what fun he had going there and his friends that he has made forever, church

service, Mitch, marines, army, war, God, St Augustine, Clausewitz, Jomini,

girlfriends, marriage, a car at college next year, football at SL and how

various athletes got up for games, what makes people tic, relationships

with new roommates, Sam, Thomas, skiing, Spring break, Super Bowl, next time

at home, physical fitness, education, good professors and those not so good,

fun talks. He started breathing hard about 3 miles from the college and I

said, “Are they gonna pick on you when you come in?, and he said, “Na, maybe

a little. I can deal with that.” We drove to the drop off point, he gave me

an extra long hug, and a better one than I thought I would get, I said, “Do

you want me to get out and walk you in?”, he said, “No pops, I love you, pop

the trunk.” He got his bag of clothes, signaled me to roll down the window

and he looked at me and said, “See ya dad, I love you.”

As I was driving back, thinking about all we spoke about, my

blackberry rang with an email from Dave. It said, “hey dad im back having a

hard time just sitting here no problem getting in but i miss ya’ll like

crazy already!!!!!!!! im really kinda tor up about missing ya’ll.”

I sent back, “I know, this time it was kind of weird, we all could

tell you were homesick,,

I am proud of you,”

He sent back,”thanks dad i love u guys and yea i am really homesick”

I sent back, “Same thing I went through at times at cal state, then

grad school. Then

military. I am a home boy at heart”

He sent, “me too pop me too”

So why share all of this? I know you guys, I got ya all by a few

years and we are dealing with one going to college. What is cool about

distance today is communication is so much easier, you can get a sense of

feelings instantly by email and you can instantly respond. Hopefully you can

say what you feel and receiver and sender can understand and hopefully

comfort each other.

Mistakes that I made I hope you don’t; That Saturday nite when I

wanted that extra hug and appreciation for what I thought was going the

extra mile to bring my boy home, for the sacrifices I was making in my life

for him. What I failed to realize is, my boy was just homesick, he was so

glad to just be home, he appreciated mom, his brothers and I being there (We

are the automatic home), there was just so much he had to cover in this

short time and he was running out of time cause he knew he had to be back in

less than 24 hours.

Wow, why didn’t I heed Rick Warren’s first sentence in the Purpose

Driven Life, “It’s not about you.”

Thought I’d share friends,

r

 

 

Good Afternoon All,

 

Another short Citadel story. Took David back last night. We got to the Citadel at 8:45. As we rounded the school grounds in the car, I looked in the library and saw many bald heads at tables working. As I looked at all the lights on in the dorms I commented to David,   ” Do they ever shut  these room lights off in the dorms?” (It seemed as if every light was on.) Dave  said, “Sure dad, everyone who is out will be back in their dorm rooms by 10:30, they will shower and put up their uniforms for tomorrow. TAPS plays at 11:00 and lights start going out after that. Tomorrow comes early at 5:00 with reveille and PT and then we are off to class. Every day is pretty much the same.”

 

I could not help to feel a little guilty about my college experience. (Sometimes I came in at 5:00 AM) How often in my college experience did I ever hear TAPS? Never.

 

Now as I get older, when I hear TAPS, it causes me to think. The older I get the more I am humbled by TAPS. I can only imagine going to a school where the day is concluded with the playing of TAPS. It must make you think of others, and so many things, in many different ways and when it occurs at the end of your day, every day, it’s probably pretty good conditioning. I don’t know, I’ll tell ya after Dave tells me.

 

So, he is still a little homesick, and I am still feeling guilty. One of these days my kids are going to make me grow up.

 

Good Day,

Rem