Welcome April and April Fools Day!

1. Thought – Mama taught her well!  You’ve got to love this little girl. What a  woman she’ll make.

 

A teacher asked her class, “What do you want out of life?” A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, “All I want out of life is four little animals, just like my Mom always says”.

 

The teacher asked, “Really and what four little animals would that be?”The little girl said, “A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it.

The teacher got a coughing fit and had to leave the room.

2. Thought – At a meeting of the college faculty, an angel suddenly appears and tells the head of the philosophy department, “I will grant you whichever of the three blessings you choose: Wisdom, Beauty – or ten million dollars.”

Immediately, the professor chooses Wisdom.

There is a flash of lightening, and the professor appears transformed, but he just sits there, staring down at the table.

 

One of his colleagues whispers, “Say something.”

The professor says, “I should have taken the money.” (Plato and Platypus Walk into a Barr.. by Thomas Cathcart & Daniel Klein)

3. Thought – Maybe ten years ago I was at a church presentation and our pastor put the coexist bumper sticker up and it was discussed.  Some liked it, some didn’t like it…but in wrapping up the presentation, the pastor asked for questions.  I asked, “Joe, if you look at all religious symbols on that bumper sticker, and you think about all those different beliefs and their perspectives, in order to ‘coexist’ some one, or many, must change.  Tell me, who is going to change?”  Well, the question was a show stopper as you can imagine.
4. Thought – MY TRIP TO COSTCO

>>

>> Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow

>> for my

>> loyal pet , Biscuit , the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a

>> woman

>> behind me asked if I had a dog.

>>

>> What did she think I had , an elephant? So since I’m retired and have

>> little to

>> do , on impulse I told her that no , I didn’t have a dog , I was starting

>> the

>> Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t , because I ended up

>> in the

>> hospital last time , but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an

>> intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs

>> in both

>> arms.

>>

>> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that

>> it works

>> is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or

>> two

>> every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it

>> works well

>> and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically

>> everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified , she asked

>> if I

>> ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her

>> no , I

>> stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s butt and a car hit us both.

>>

>> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was

>> laughing so

>> hard.

>>

>> Costco won’t let me shop there anymore.

>>

My Mom pulled the most outrages April Fool’s Day prank on me I’ve ever heard of. If you ask me personally, I will tell ya when we meet.

rem – I had no knowledge that I had no knowledge.

Question & Thought & ANDs.

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